Alan Cohen: When Friendships Change

Alan Cohen said it beautifully in his August 2011 newsletter:
Since the advent of the Internet and Facebook, I have received many contacts from people I once knew. My best buddies from elementary school, high school, and college have reached out to say hello. I have enjoyed hearing from them, and in most cases we corresponded by email for a bit, or got together for lunch. Yet in nearly all cases, those connections did not last very long.
When this occurred, part of me felt disappointed, since these friendships represented some of the best times of my life and I hoped they would renew. Instead, I found that after reminiscing over old times, we simply did not have that much to talk about now.
      Every relationship exists for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. You intersect paths with some people for a momentary experience, and that is the purpose of the meeting. You were not meant to be together for a longer time. Other relationships exist for a season. You might have a friend, business colleague, or romantic partner for a number of years. Then you grow apart and the relationship changes form or dissolves. You may believe you made a mistake or something went wrong. But it did not. If the relationship lasted for seven years, that was the true lifespan of the relationship. If you tried to stop it before its appointed time, or you try to prolong it after it is complete, your efforts would not work. Its appointed time is perfect.
      Some relationships last a lifetime. These might include family relationships, marriage partners, significant friendships, or career colleagues. Such relationships are a blessing, for they run deep and the loyalty and support you share is a true gift. Appreciate such relationships with all your heart. Such people are genuine soul partners.
      In truth, all relationships last forever. It’s just the earthly form that goes through changes. If there was once love, there is always love. The part of us that gets hurt, upset, or angry, or turns its back on another person is not our true self. Our reality is love. Likewise, if someone leaves this world, that is not the end of the relationship. As spiritual beings, your relationship goes on and continues to blossom.
      Trust that all relationships exist for the perfect amount of time. Changes happen at the surface level, but at the core, only the love is real.

                                        

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