This post was in response to a post I read at

http://studio307.blogspot.com/2009/03/running-into-walls.html

My 24 year old got into financial trouble and moved back in with me. I know it has F#$# with his mind (ego) because it says to him ‘failure’. What it says to me is ‘I need a break in life’ and I am glad I was able to give it to him. He was moving in for a month but it turned into 7-so far.

My son and I are like oil and water. We don’t understand why, we just understand it to be so. We both accept it. He will talk and I will say something and he will say don’t interrupt. I will talk and he will say something and I will say don’t interrupt. We are 50% of the time out of sync with each other.  When it happens we try to stay away from each other, give each other space. When we are in sync it is great fun. We both understand our love for each other but we probably will never understand our friction.

So living together has helped us understand all this. We are both adults and can relate different than when he was younger. I really believe it has been good for our relationship.

Not to say some days we are not both sorry for our situation. But I think we always fall into the trap of self-pity for our situation, no matter what it is. We might finally meet and marry the love of our life and we self-pity about how we just want the house to ourselves for one day. Maybe we say, “We can’t wait till the kids finally all move out” and suddenly its Sunday morning and there’s no one to go to the beach with.

There are days we grind so much I want him to move out and he would love to move out. But like all anger, we understand how short lived it is. We recognize we are just sweating the small stuff and to get on with it. When we cool down we let go of it, if it doesn’t want to go away then we talk about it when we are calm.

We are opposites but yet we are human beings that love each other. We agree to disagree.  We understand we do not have to like everything about each other. It is a gift to just love even one small detail. We can choose to focus on all the details we cannot stand about each other or we can focus on the ones we love. The choice is ours.

In reference to Nights:  http://studio307.blogspot.com/2009/03/night.html,

Being laid off is what it is. What I mean by this is, no amount of worry will change the fact that you can’t pay a bill or eat more than beans and rice. But what you can change is what you do with all this newfound time.

You can worry or you can create what you never had time to create while you were so busy. F@# the fact that you are downsizing-not by choice of course- and have some fun. Yes fun. It is ok (and very responsible) to have fun while people are calling you for money. You can’t give it to them anyway so why not laugh while you have time.

If you are an architect then I know you are creative.

So CREATE and have FUN!

Who knows where it will lead.

I also wanted to say ‘get outside and do some form of exercise’. It doesn’t just clear the brain; it heals the mind