That over tired and well versed topic of relationships has come up lately with some of the many single people I know.
A man who’s wife kicked him out simply because he annoyed her has been healing for over a year and now is feeling like trying to date. He thinks he is ready to date but in his words, none of the women he is interested in are really available .
Another guy is still harboring rejection from his marriage he created a family with and then dissolved fifteen years ago. He is not forgiving or really even understanding what happened and has carried it into another relationship that failed and he is presently still walking with the pain of it all.
Here is my advice to both men and to all humans on earth.
Feel the masculine and feminine inside yourselves and fall in love with both. Yes, you are falling in love with you. Fall in love with the very real connection you have with your soul that is connected to every soul from the beginning of when souls first arrived. (Just imagine for a minute that you fully understand this.) You don’t have to find another person to cling onto. Find yourselves. Finding yourselves is not something that takes hours or days or years…it is instant. Be aware that you exist, put all your thoughts into the fact you exist and wah lah…you have found yourself.
Once you have connected with yourself then connect with others from a whole self and merge with their whole self. When I say whole self, some might find this confusing. It is not. It simply means don’t just put a casual thought to this, gather the language of every cell in your body, speak to every cell in your body and alert it to the fact you are going to connect to another body’s every cell. You are going to imagine a complete connection energetically from your body and mind and spirit to another person’s body mind and spirit. So you have now connected with another without actually moving your body any closer to them, without any of the human games that we so freely agree to play along with and the games that we do not agree to play.
You are connected to everything on earth. No need to create a whole game of ownership: so and so is my girlfriend, I own this car, this house, this boat, this purse, this pet. When you breathe, connect with the breath of every being on the earth.
Your cells you were born with are not in your body any more after seven years. They all have moved on either in waste from your bowels, dead cells falling off your skin, urine waste moved out from the blood, every cell is new and then new again depending on what year you make (your age). Our cells, the person you were when you were born, is now part of the plants, grass, soil, rivers. If you want to truly find yourselves, look around you, look in nature, look everywhere.
The biggest way to love yourself is in the breath. This might help. Put earplugs in your ears and you can really hear your body breath. Connect with the sound of air moving from your nose down your throat. Feel your lungs rise and fall. See if you can find the relation of a slower breath to how your entire body feels. Do you see the connection of your relaxed breath to how your feet relax? How about the connection of your breath to your hands and arms relaxing? Once you connect to your body, relaxed or not, allow your mind to send love to every cell in your body via the breath. The breath is like a train connecting your love from city to city. Humans so badly want to love something. They own things just so they can love them. How about utilizing all that love waiting to find something to connect with by connecting with every cell in your own body.
There are many ways to feel while we walk on the earth. There are many definitions of what the right things are to feel. Peace, content, joy, ecstatic, gratitude, happy, appreciative, thankful, euphoric are the feelings many seek. The hard ones to swallow are guilt, jealousy, lonely, anger, sadness, scared, confused. It always amazes me how most humans can move so easily from one side of emotions to the other. What you feel is often simply in the power of what you choose to think. I deliberately use the word ‘simply’ because once it is learned that you truly have a choice, it is simply just that, a choice.
I’m going to put myself out there and recommend you choose love and start loving your self. Love everything about you, every thought, emotion, achievement, perceived failure. Love it all. Then when you get tired or feel you are finished with that, start loving those around you. Even if you feel anger at those around you, love them anyway. Love every cell around you. Then when you get tired or feel you are finished with that…start loving things you cannot see but know are near. Then when you get tired or feel you are finished with that…start loving all things. When you are bored or lonely, utilize your time by simply loving.