”Cultivate your bodily energy (jing), then your mind (Qi), and finally your spirit (shen). When you cultivate your spirit you will reach emptiness (xu). In the empty state you realize the Tao.” Taijiquan Classics
“Oh! This is the first time I am seeing this.” A young man with the energy of a bird is cocking his head to look at a twice-bent tiny little needle he is holding up in the air.
“What?” I ask.
“My needle bent 2 ways, I’ve seen one bend but never two,” he said.
“Is that from the spasms in my back?” For more than a few years now I have been searching for someone that can relieve me of this unremitting pain in my mid-back. It feels as if someone is gripping and crushing the life out of me.
“It must be. You’re Qi is very weak. You could say it’s one step away from not being there.” this wisdom is being spoken by my acupuncturist.
“What if it’s not there?” I inquire.
“Then your not here, you’ve gone to the other side.”
“Oh! What can I do to raise my Qi?” not ready to leave my body just yet.
“Breathe and breathe some more. Mix in some Qi Gong. Stay away from strenuous activities for now. You have been over achieving and it is sucking the life out of you. You need to step back and observe.”
Miraculously, a trip to St Croix for the weekend, mostly alone, presented itself within a week. I made arrangements for the kids and off I went. My partner thought it was about him. He thought I was running from him. It had nothing to do with him. It was about finding pieces of me then figuring out where to put them.
I went with a close friend who was taking a massage course there. She was offered to stay at a friend’s house we both had recently met at a Tenshi workshop: a very sweet girl who had just married into an old-time St. Croix family. Her husband’s family built the house in the 50’s. It had giant wave tattered beams that once belonged to on old pier in the harbor. The walls were large island stone from the surrounding lands. In the grout between the stones were all sorts of treasure such as shells, old glass bottles and shards (pieces of broken pottery from the slave revolts of the 1800’s). Smaller outbuildings of various functions surrounded the main house; a garage, boathouse, guesthouse, barbeque deck and garden shed. When you stepped back for a wider view you were meet with a 360-degree view of every shade of turquoise water known to the human eye crashing up against giant black boulders firmly rooted near the house’s open deck. When you were really ready to shock your senses you could watch the sun rise and set from the two-story sun deck.
This would be my house for the weekend.
The young couple was away for a week and my friend was away every day for the workshop. At night I could enjoy her company but the day was mine, mine to unravel the universe. My senses were alive, bathed in the salt air and breathtaking sunsets. At my disposal was a library on holistic everything. The mother of the husband of our friend had cancer and passed away the previous year. Her spirit was a healing presence.
I latched onto numerous books but the one book I would remember was the “Qi Gong for Beginners” by Stanley Wilson. I read every page and most more than once. It was a small book and the author was in remission from cancer. He felt Qi Gong was the reason he was able to have the time to write the book. It breathed new life into him. So much so that he wanted to pass on simple steps to make it easy for everyone to include in their lives.
His passion carried over to me and 12 years later it is still a big part of my life.
I knew I could not take the book with me so I wrote notes and drew stick figures to remind me what movements to do. I had to look at my cheat sheet at least 30 times but through repetition it did sink in and now it is a permanent branding in my mind. I do it slow when I have time and fast when I don’t. Some days it is a 3-minute routine and others it is a 10-minute routine. Some days my mind fades into the ether’s and other days I do my daily list with the poses. It is so simple and convenient I do it while waiting for the dog to pee, I do it while waiting for my daughter’s soccer practice to finish, I do it in a hotel hallway or the cell phone parking lot at the airport. It takes away my headaches, stiffness, sleepiness, and that over all ‘I’m just not feeling like myself” feeling. If I forget and go days without it, my body cries out for it.
I believe it has helped to save my life. It has emptied the vessel that carries my mind body and soul, relieving over and over the burdens called life. When you listen to your body (and your acupuncturist) you are guided to all the right places.
That acupuncturist, that house, that book were all there for me and all I had to do was open my eyes, my heart and my soul.
