Who are you?

Picture yourself on a sidewalk in New York City or any city/town big or small. The people are walking by you in a hurry to get somewhere very important.  Their eyes are lost to “someplace else”. You have this overwhelming feeling that something very important is happening in many places. Not here though, it is not happening here. Not on this street that you stand. Something very important is happening in the many directions that these people are being pulled to.

What is it that they are all working so hard to get to? What is it that they are all working so hard to achieve? Will they every reach their destination? When they reach their destination, will they be satisfied? Will they stand on the very spot they had dreamed so hard to get to and say, “Wow, this is what I have wanted my whole life and it feels me up so full that I can breath a sigh of perfect contentment.” or do they say, “Where was I going, I can’t remember anymore?” or do they say, “I am here but where am I really, who am I really? This is not the place I originally thought I was going. The sign reads my destination but when I look around, it is not anything like the brochures said it would be like.”

Many get depressed when they realize there dream did not go the way they thought it would. They either get to the destination, forgetting entirely who they are, or they never reach the destination and think they missed it all, they feel like one big looser. Like there whole world crumbled on top of them and they can not pull themselves out from the rubble.

Someone said to me the other day, “I use to be somebody, I use to walk in a room and people noticed me. I was the guy, I was part of the party, part of the event. Now I am nobody. I lost my confidence and each day is a struggle to even exists.”

The economic downturn effected him and his parents. They were in a business together for his whole 28 years of being. he was trained to be this “something” since he was in the womb. He was so close to his “final destination” that he could lick the icing. As the sugar was spreading across his tongue the cake blew up. He no longer had hope, he no longer had a dream. Figuratively, he was in the fast lane and his car crashed. He could only see his life as a failure. He could only hope for that dream to come back alive. He could not look at what was in front of him at that very second, he could only look behind him and what was suppose to happen. In front of him were people that were open to being his friend, people that were coming up to him, giving him their full attention. In front of him were brand new exciting adventures and opportunities. He did not see them as real because they did not fit into the hard, specifically shaped shell he had been carving out his whole life, the shell his parents had helped him carved and the shell society had helped him carve. He saw himself as a failure and thought the people that were talking to him were only talking to him because they were failures too. He did not want to join the failure club so he did not take those people serious. He did not open any doors to new possibilities in life because he did not see the door let alone know how to attempt to turn the door knob.

One thing he did do that he did not even realize at first. He reached out. He kept moving his feet in the direction of these new people that were talking to him. He thought of these people as someone that he could drown his sorrows in. He was reaching out to feel something even if it was a dark depressing something. He wanted to tell others about how bad his life had turned out. When he was telling this story he was in a place where the moment was about him. Every time he told this story, for that moment he was telling it and someone else was engaged in the conversation, for that moment he had the attention of someone else and for that moment it was all about him. That was how it was when things were going his way and everyone was paying attention to him. The focus was him. All that attention was what was moving him forward. Now he knew he was sinking and wanted to hold onto something from his past so he told his sad story-his past-to anyone that would get close enough to listen. They would listen out of an obligation to the down and trodden or they would listen in a drunken stupor. Those that were in a positive state of mind would move on quickly as not to dirty themselves with negative backward movement. The;y were going forward and did not want to be pulled back.

That’s the funny thing about reaching out when you are not balanced and strong within yourself. It is a very vulnerable time. Many will take advantage of the weakened person and try to persuade them into their religion, their way of thinking, their movement or even their cult.  That is why so many churches have soup kitchens or places for the homeless. They are reaching out to the vulnerable hoping to win them over to their believe system. They do a trade with them that if you eat our food or sleep in our bed you will listen to our preaching. Not to say this is a bad trade, I would rather be preached to and eat then not eat. My point is an empty soul is vulnerable to being taken over by a dark force that is trying to steal your soul, figuratively speaking again.

When we expose ourself, either by choice or not, to all the sales pitches of how our life is suppose to be, and it is drilled into our psychi day after day, year after year, then we absorb it as our way of how we should behave, how we should think, how our life should someday be and how our life should be now. Many rebel in their teen years, but they are usually only rebelling from there parents or from mainstream society and only for a short while, once they have to earn their own living they almost always conform. What they should be rebelling from is the consumerism mentality driven into our brain that we never have enough and we have to buy more, we have to earn more, we have to become more so we can climb on the ladder of success. We need to buy more education, we need to buy more clothes, we need to buy more health coverage, nicer cars, newer cars, bigger living spaces, more travel adventures, more vacations, more health spas, more coaches to train us to do more things. The list is endless.

You can be raised by parents that do not conform to all this propaganda but yet if you are exposed to TV, Movies, music, schools and their trying-to-be-helpful counselors, shopping malls, ect, then it is almost impossible not to get sucked into the  flow of I need to be more and have more.

Having more and being more is not a bad thing. It is actually human nature, but what I am talking about is the grossly distorted view of what more is.

 

Here are some quotes to think about:

“I am meeting grown people that are at a point in life where they feel very scared. They did everything they were told all their life to do. One day they woke up…wondering who they were.”~~~Gypsychant

‎”Who are you, yourself, alone and nameless?” ~~~J.R.R. Tolkien

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly, that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury quote

‎”We have to create culture, don’t watch TV, don’t read magazines, don’t even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you’re worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you’re giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told ‘no’, we’re unimportant, we’re peripheral. ‘Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.’ And then you’re a player, you don’t want to even play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that’s being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.” ~ ~~Terence Mckenna

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